As a young adult I always worried I wouldn't get pregnant. My parents and friends always said "everyone feels that way you'll be fine", but it wasn't my pessimistic ways that told me this, it felt more like intuition. I've always felt I have a sixth sense. Something that just pulls at me and tells me what's ahead. Almost always it's right. I don't believe I won't get pregnant, I just believe that it will take time, patience and money to make it happen. All of which don't come easily and without many sacrifices.
I have decided to stay unemployed and on unemployment for the duration of fall and winter to allow my body to relax and try very hard to do everything in my own power to regulate my hormones. The difference I see between my story, although just starting and others stories, is, I wish to do this naturally. I want to fix the problem not bypass it.
I've always wanted a natural pregnancy with natural birth, a midwife and my baby born into their own home. I am aware this may not happen, but I will try harder than you could imagine to make it a reality. My life has never been easy, I was not a golden child, my family life was anything but normal or sane and my adult years have been full of disappointment, loss and pain. Until now.
My wife gives me hope, love, adoration, courage and a reason to fight. I've never had that before, a reason to not just give up. I'm ready to tackle this crazy journey, this god forsaken hell hole we are about to enter. With open arms I welcome the unknowns for hope that our biggest unknown ends up in our arms in the end.
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