Needles and Pills....

Today was my first acupuncture appointment. I was a bit nervouse given my slight phobia of needles (but my monthly blood draws are helping with that) and anxious to talk with someone about a natural treatment for my issues. Believe it or not the whole experience was the most relaxed I have felt in a very long time. So relaxed I'm going to do it once a week. 

This very genuine warm hearted man entered the room, looked over my information and said in the most confident and assuring manner, "oh...well this is a very treatable condition, I just did a seminar/conference last weekend concerning infertility and anovulation, we'll take care of this". His very calm yet assertive demeanor is a welcome change from my inner dialogue of self doubt and self consciousness. 

He then laid me on the table belly up and just starting talking about all kinds of things regarding acupuncture, health and people (I think it was as much distraction as informative) then he started placing needles on my head, neck, wrists, and feet. I thought he was merely poking me with them until I saw the one in my wrist and realized they were actually in me. He put a heat lamp on my feet and my upper body then asked me if I was comfortable and said he would be back to check on me.

It was the strangest comfort I've ever felt, so calming I almost felt drugged. I immediately felt a sort of rush of heat and energy just start at my head and end at my feet. As I laid there I kept invisioning my ovaries and my uturus in good health and working the way they should. I almost fell asleep by the time he got back. Who knew needles of all things could be so relaxing!

He sent me off with a bottle if $35 Chinese herbs in which I am to take 3-4 pills 2-3 times daily. Like needles I hate swallowing pills! Since I was a kid I have been terrible at it, and yet, my life is now needles and pills galore. 10 pills a day to be exact! All because I refuse to let myself think I'm doomed to have a baby by relying in western medicine alone.

 I'm still cautious of too much wishful thinking but that magic man I saw today put a light inside me I havnt felt in years, and I'm just going to go with it. My new mission is try try new things and let go of all my self doubting and self deprecating ways. It's time for change. Tomorrow is my chiropractic appointment and I can only hope it goes so well. 

Here goes nothing...

Welcome to my blog, I sure hope its as entertaining and informational as you are hoping for. I have been reading many blogs about other lesbians and their journeys to become parents lately, and thought it was about time I start to share mine.

A little about myself:
I am a 26 year old female living on the central coast in California, originally from a small town in the central valley. Recently married my beautiful wife Kate on September 6th of this year! We have been together going on 4 years and have been planning on starting a family since we got engaged. She works in the medical field and I am currently laid off and hoping my next job is more fulfilling and includes caring for a child we conceived of together.

I love to write and read poetry and non-fiction books, although I have just found a fiction writer by the name if Sarah Waters who writes Victorian lesbian novels and am enthralled with them. It would be wonderful if I could write for a living and get paid for it, so this is my first shot at seeing how many people are interested in reading what I have to say. Very outspoken, bold and honest is how I would describe myself and my writing style. I seek no ones approval and only wish to have my opinions and the way I wish to live my life respected by others, as I respect theirs.

In August of this year after 4 months of charting my temperatures, cycles, cervical mucus (that's something I never thought of) and blood draws I went to my OB. She declared me "Infertile due to anovulation", anovulation is the lack of ovulation. I have very low progesterone levels; they say 10 is the lowest it can be to get pregnant and stay pregnant, but you should really be around 14 and up. My average is 4. Unbelievable disappointing to say the least. Of course her remedy to this was to put me on Clomid to induce ovulation so we could proceed with insemination. That's a cop out to me.

I want to know Why? Why am I not ovulating? Why is my progesterone so low? Why is this happening at 26 years old? not to mention the What? What can we do to get my progesterone up? What can be done to induce ovulation naturally? Of course today's doctors are not trained to know the answers to those questions off-hand. They send you to someone else who specializes in "infertility", that what they call it even if your not really infertile at all which pisses me off cause it puts a knot in your stomach when you hear it even if you don't believe it.

So I researched and am still researching natural ways to remedy my anovulation and low progesterone. I refuse to just bypass the problem to get a baby. I want to be healthy and to conceive a healthy baby without western medicine pumping through me and our baby. Who really knows the affects those medications could have on our offspring down the road. I would hate to find out that my lack of persistence and patience rendered our child or children physically or mentally ill later on.

I will wrap up my first and lengthly post by giving you a glimpse into our future plans. I have my first consultation with a Reproductive Endocrinologist on October 15th, researching acupuncturists who accept my medical coverage and specialize in fertility treatments, trying to find chiropractors and massage therapists who also are covered by my medical insurance and for my sanity looking into doing yoga a few times a week. Anti-anxiety meds and antidepressants are very helpful, but I want to try to learn to be calm and happy all on my own for the sake of myself, my wife and our future family.